Happy Halloween

My life has been absolute chaos this week!!

I find it amusing that I always plan on having more time.  I think to myself that this time I will get it right, I will use my time wisely and efficiently and clear off my to-do list with time to spare.  And then when it comes to it I realize that one thing may be more or less important than another, or that I simply don’t have the desire or need for something else.

And then I realize what I’ve been neglecting in a sudden panic and try to come up to date with everything that should have, and could have, been done on time to begin with!

Is it the artist in me?  The mother?  The 22 year old fiercely independent female that refuses to listen to anyone, even my alarm clock?

It doesn’t help that my fierey (and chaotic) disposition has put me at odds with the man I live with.  And most of the time love.  And sometimes want to strangle.  I find myself neglecting housework to walk down to the Bagel Shop to use their wifi, bribing my daughter with bagels and jelly for 20 minutes of peace to write about the pent up frenzy because I’m angry with my significant other for not seeing the world my way.

The main problem is that it’s a cycle.  And if the problems arise because I’m young and willful, I can only say that time will eventually catch up with me and teach me a thing or two.  That next year I will be 23 and 7 years from now 30, and that should place me in a more serene and time-efficient disposition, right?  But that’s only if age is the instigator.

If I am this way as a result of being an artist, well, we’re pretty much screwed.  My mother was an artist.  My father was an artist.  My brother and sisters all have their special creative outlets and it runs in the blood.  I’m never growing out of that then and must simply accept my fate as reckless, timeless, and fiery creator of wonderful things and the man I’m with should either follow my lead and accept me for who I am or hit the road in search of someone calmer.

In either case, this quaint little bagel shop where I have sought solace is fantastic.  My daughter loves the food and is drawing pictures of “ish.”  You should try it sometime.

That’s kind of how I’m feeling right now.  Ish.


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