How to Not Knit a Hat

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter F and the number 2.

F is the 6th letter in the English alphabet (I actually had to use my fingers to figure that one out). 

F is for Flounder, Flop, Flunk, Fail, and a really bad word not suitable for children’s ears that I seem to have been saying a lot in the past 24 hours.

The number 2 is a rather elusive prime number that I CANNOT COUNT TO!!  WHO CAN’T COUNT TO TWO?  1…..2…. See? Done.

Except when you start knitting a hat and the pattern says “Repeat rounds 1 & 2 until piece measures 5 inches” and I diligently repeat only round 2 for 5 slogging inches.

Considering how the past couple weeks have been going, blow after blow to the point where I’m super bummed, exhausted, and scatterbrained, I thought a hat would be simple enough.  I picked out Windschief by Stephen West – what I thought would be a simple, masculine hat fit for a holiday gift.  My first cast on was a failed attempt.  It was too tight, and I knit 3 inches, held it up and said to the ladies at knit night – “This is way to small for a man’s head” which they all agreed to, and proceeded to frog it.  I cast on the medium size and went up a needle size, worked for 5 inches, wondering if maybe it was a little too wide now (people assured me it wasn’t), and why it had this weird curve to the brim, until I got the point of decreasing for the crown.   I referred back to the pattern and saw my mistake. I wasn’t counting right.

I think I nearly cried.  I’m so out of it, I can’t even count to two.

Tonight will be brought to you by the letter W for Whiskey and the number who-gives-a-crap-I-can’t-count-to-it-anyway.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Chris Furuya
    Oct 16, 2013 @ 10:11:43

    It’s ok. Depending on the color you choose, that could just make the wearer look like they have scene hair.


  2. Mistine
    Oct 16, 2013 @ 18:18:00

    I second the letter W, but for counting you should practice with shots.

    Have shot #1 then shot #2. Repeat shot 1 and 2 until you’ve learned to count 🙂


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