Oh! Hi there!

I fell off the map, huh?

Things are getting a bit hectic over here.  I’ve been super busy prepping for my summer, for moving, for Lakes of Fire, etc.  Everything is about to happen for me, and the only I can keep myself from freaking the frak out is to put my head down and hyper focus.  I’m out in less than two months, but I started packing a month ago just to calm my nerves.

I had a minor heart attack when I had to drop my application in the mail.  I watched it slip away through the slot and had a moment of panic – do I really want to do this?  What will happen if I get rejected?  What will happen if I get accepted??  And then I had to remind myself that it’s in the mail now, and Hermes will see it safely to it’s destination and whatever happens beyond that is out of my control now.

People have been asking where I’m moving – and I just shrug my shoulders and say “I really don’t know,” with a smile on my face.  The smile isn’t all for show – a bit of me is very excited to be taking this gigantic leap of faith, and I love that, at least financially, I can stay afloat for a while.  Years of planning is coming to fruition.  Granted, there is a larger piece of me that is screaming and attempting to hit the brakes – HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING???

I’m pretty sure I would be mostly fine if it were just me.  Trying to prep a 9 year old for the whirlwind adventure that’s looming has been a bit difficult.  She’s all gung-ho about it, don’t mistake me – just trying to make sure she feels safe and secure (and is both) throughout the whole thing is added stress.  I have slept in airports and bus stations and gone hungry for a couple days at a time because I was poor and traveling.  Subjecting a child to that is a whole different story.

This past weekend, Gothee House hosted a fundraiser to get the camp materials, sound systems, and whatnots to Lakes of Fire and to a smaller extent Burning Man this year.  The fundraiser consumed much of my free mental space in the last couple weeks, and over the weekend I was experiencing dramatic fluctuations between giddy and raging mad.  The party happened, the shows were great, the merch sold, as did the booze, and the dancing was phenomenal.  Everyone was brilliant.

And, now I can take a deep breath and take stock of the wreckage.  What’s next?

I’m knitting up a storm, but have recently been so lackadaisical with my commitment that I’ve been a bit embarrassed to write about it.  Startitis?  Or trying to keep the sanity in check?

I’m still packing, but I’m hesitant to reveal the plans because – there aren’t any plans yet.

I’m just sitting here, just out of site, reciting to myself over and over again what needs to be done.  If I focus, I can get through it.

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