Spinning

I have come to the realization that I have simply stretched myself too thin.  I lit the match and started burning the candles at every available wick and I’ve been suffering for it.  So, my blog hiatus was induced by forgetfulness because I simply could not keep up with my life.  This is hard lesson for me to learn, because I have spent the past couple years building the strongest friendships I could, throwing myself into this social group and experiencing as much as possible.  I’ve committed to projects for others and created double the projects for myself.  I’ve amped up the amount I’m teaching and training and I am still working 40+ hours a week at a “regular” job.  I have been creating so many new stories and experiences for myself, and the thought of reducing the amount of activity in my life, and thus reducing the number of new people I meet and new adventures I partake in, is such a sad idea that I could not bring myself to contemplate it.

But everyone needs to rest and reset.  When my mood took a swing for the worse because I could not keep up with my promises and my brain started sparking in overtime, I had to step back.  I’m wrapping up projects and forcing myself not to commit myself to new ones yet.  There are not enough crossed-off for me to feel balanced once again.

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At least one has been crossed off – the Lindisfarne shawl I traded for something (which I cannot remember now).  It was a pleasure to knit and was completed a few months ago, but it ended up in a project bag and tossed in the corner when it came time to blocking.  Eager to wrap it up and put it in the mail so I could free up brain space, I pinned it, steamed it, wove in ends, and shipped – then heaved a gigantic sigh of relief (wholly unworthy the small task that had laid before me).  It has been so long so I’ve crossed something off, I had forgotten how it felt to finish, that wave of accomplishment, the way the task suddenly drops off your list and you feel like you have so much time now.

And I did not start another project!!  I pulled out Ellette’s sweater, which I had abandoned when I came to the hood and it seemed to go on forever.  I think I put it aside because I was worried about running out of yarn – because knitting slower makes the yarn longer…. Like I said, clearly I need to free up more brain space.

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