The Right Motivation

Week 7 started (I think it’s week 7, but time is kind of blurred because it’s going so fast).  Also, session 2 of the program, which means that some of our classes have changed.  Technique changed from slings to rope and harness, nutrition to kinesiology, pilates to modern dance, and contact improv to handstands.  I’m still putting in extra training, dealing with sore muscles and stiff joints, and wanting to cry at least once a day.  I never thought I would call my life ordinary, but what I’ve been working on has reached such a point of familiarity that I forget there are others who might be interested in hearing about it.

Recent highlights and realizations?  In no particular order:

* Last week, ballet did not bring me to tears.  This is a huge accomplishment.

* It has been amazingly easy for me to make friends – I can’t even tell you.  I am full of gratitude, love and awe for the people I’ve been meeting since arriving in Boulder.  I have honestly never felt this integrated in a community.  Not only integrated, but a part of the community that helps it thrive, and a part that is missed when it is absent.

* I know our final performance is still 7 months away, but I found my song.  It’s still a secret, but I’m excited about choreographing for it.  I’m stuck between static trapeze and chains for my showcase.

* I have to do an assignment involving “space” (i.e. spacial awareness, movement through a space, etc.) and I have no idea how to show my interpretation of space.

This will all be elaborated on later.

My desire to feel like I am good at something, to feel accomplished at something, created an interesting case of finishing-itis.  That is, taking all of my knitting projects and trying to finish them.  I have had no desire to start anything new, just wrap up what’s been left on the needles for who knows how long.  This is partly spurred by the desire for a clean and organized house (nevermind the fact that all that is happening is a project is getting moved out of one box and into another location – nothing is actually freeing up more space).

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So, since Friday, I have been adding the last little details, weaving in ends, and blocking projects.  Last night, I finished an afghan I’ve been working on for nearly two years, and I can’t tell you how proud it made me.  I had been gifted a lot of a mystery yarn by a friend, and had no idea what to do with it, and it slowly became a blanket.  A rather large blanket, that ate up some of my scraps as I went.  Ellette loves it and doesn’t want to snuggle with any other blanket.

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I also realized that I have given away most of my hats – so I need to cast on for one, but can’t decide which.  And, October is almost over, which means NaKniSweMo will be starting soon (National Knit a Sweater Month), and I want to participate but don’t know which sweater to chose.  I’m stuck between Enchanted Mesa and Belle.  Thoughts?

Shhh….I’m Only Pretending

I’m only pretending to be an adult and do those adult things like “having my life together.”  But I’ve come to realize that it can only take me so far before my imagination falters as I tack on one more restless night to a string of sleepless nights.  I can’t keep up with my own charade.

The truth is – I’m sitting over here freaking out.  I have been running on high power for the past 7 weeks.  Scratch that – since JUNE!  And I just don’t have the brain power for it any longer.  I’ve been cracking around the edges, and this week I shattered.  It’s not that anything bad has happened, it’s just that I’m too exhausted and worried to get myself under control again and the slightest worry is bringing me to tears.

I love my life.  I love my life.  I’m doing amazing, inspiring things every single day.  I’m waking up to the mountains in all of their stoic beauty.  I’m in the best physical shape I have ever been in.

Let’s repeat that.

I love this.

So, what am I freaking out about?

I’m tired – physically.  Everything is sore and my brain is dead.  I’m trying to keep track of training, homework, two jobs, and trying to stay engaged in the world of my 9 year old.

If I don’t blog, I’m probably ripping out my hair and scribbling a million lists to feel like I understand what the heck is going on in my world, because I truthfully have no idea right now.  I’m in the air a lot, and I don’t sleep much, and I haven’t been on a proper date in ages, not counting the Playa date at Burning Man, and I interact with the same 20 or so people every single day, which is kind of surreal.

Please, follow me on Facebook (facebook.com/littlegreenpixie) and on instagram (LittleGreenPixie) – updates are much more reliable on those sites.

So Many Ideas

A lack of knitting over the summer combined with finally feeling a rhythm to my new life has led to a flurry of knitting and designing that I can’t seem to control.  The people I interact with on a daily basis have been a well of inspiration for the things that can be born on my needles, and when I’m not sketching out designs, I’m working them up.  I’m afraid to stop knitting because I don’t want the designs to float away.  They have to be made NOW.  So, when I’m not in the air, at the coffee shop, or at the computer working, I”m knit-purling away at a new design.

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I’ve been inspired by necessity.  The trapeze boots that I made (and currently in their test-knit phase), were created out of a need to have my shins and ankles covered for my ankle hangs on the trapeze.  Other sketches include shorts, rib warmers, legwarmers, cowls, sweaters, and costume accessories.  My only problem is that I can’t knit it all at once.  I have dozens of sketches, but not enough hands.  Also, the stash busting of the past two years means I am starting to scrape the bottom of my stash.  I don’t have enough of what i need for some of my designs.  I’m still trying to knit through what I have, so I’m sticking to the designs that can utilize what’s available, while devising plans for the other things.

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More designs are coming!  My main goal at the moment is to compile enough to put out a short e-book, so you may not see finished items until that point.  I’ll give you teasers when I can!

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And, if you’re interested in test knitting anything, head on over to the Little Green Pixie Rav group for updates!

http://livesoftheaerialists.com/

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